First Cup of "Serious Espresso" at Stumptown Coffee Roasters

Emboldened by my positive experience with the gentle Cafe Nico at Espresso Vivace yesterday, I decided I had to try something more serious.  From what I had read, a macchiato sounded like the ticket, as it's sort of an "espresso with training wheels".  Many of my friends had recommended Stumptown, which has a roaster-café not far from my apartment.  I was also intrigued in reading the tasting notes on their Hair Bender Espresso:

"Coffees from every major producing region provide the individual components of this complex sweet and savory blend, which yields flavors of milk chocolate, caramel, jasmine, meyer lemon, apricot, and pineapple."

Hey, that sounds pretty great, right?  If it tastes like it says, who wouldn't like it?


This time it was much easier to get myself through the door.  I was still a bit nervous, and had to wait a bit to place my order, but I think I managed to sound confident and as if this was my regular drink.  Alright, I thought to myself, I'm starting to feel pretty good about this whole coffee thing!  Maybe this would become a regular occurrence for me?

I was served a cup approximately the same size as the Cafe Nico—which I believe is a 3 oz cup?  It's just a wee bit bigger than the smallest demitasses I saw behind the bar.

Again, the spoon throws off the perspective—
I could barely pinch the handle between
thumb and forefinger to lift the cup

...well, this experience was markedly less pleasant than yesterday's.  I have to say that I found the flowery prose describing the blend to be, well, a bit off the mark a bold-faced lie!  There was a profound bitterness (though not intolerable or entirely disagreeable) in the first sip, which I later learned was because the appealing-looking crema is composed mostly of some very bitter oils; the overall flavor was concentrated "burnt wood" that was not really balanced or filled out by any sweetness.  I did not detect any of the floral or fruity aromas, or even the "milk chocolate"; the most I got was a hint of caramel in the aftertaste of the final couple of sips.  Some might say I have an untutored palate, but when tasting beer, wine, cheese, chocolate, and tea, I've never had trouble discerning the flavors listed in tasting notes right off the bat.  If this coffee had any floral or fruit flavors going on, they were fathoms deep below the walloping roasty bitterness.

I felt my mouth coated in the oils, and the aftertaste stuck with me for the 30+ minutes it took me to finish my writing and walk half a mile to the grocery store, do my shopping, and finally crack a bottle of coconut water.  I could definitely tell my breath wasn't going to be a pleasant smell for anyone, and wished I'd been served a soda-water chaser with the coffee.

I'd also like to comment at this point on how different I find the "buzz" of coffee versus tea.  This macchiato contained a double-shot of espresso, so I reckon I've now got a good sense of what "a serious coffee buzz" should feel like.  I gotta say, it doesn't really compete with my puerh.  The buzz I got off of this espresso felt unfocused, like my attention span had just been obliterated.  I wanted to run around in circles and start five different sentences at the same time; I couldn't keep a train of thought going for more than a couple seconds.  My shopping trip was a fiasco, I couldn't remember what I needed or think about what I wanted and must have rambled around the store for 20 minutes.  I didn't really feel "awake", either (note that this was my first caffeine of the day), just kind of "wired".  When I got home I couldn't figure out what to do with myself.  So I made a pot of tea.

The tea buzz

The coffee buzz

The analogy I came up with is that espresso is like spraying lighter fluid on a charcoal grill—it results in a chaotic flame that flares up huge and irregular and then dies off suddenly.  Tea, on the other hand, is like opening up the valve on a gas flame—the flame gets bigger and brighter but is still very focused and cohesive.  It makes it easy for me to sit and write music or poetry or blog entries, because it strengthens my attention span and gives a sense of clarity and well-being.  I find it a vastly preferable feeling; the coffee buzz was jittery and kind of annoying, and felt sort of "incomplete" compared to tea.  Though I could see it being good to fuel some physical activity—I surely had no trouble carrying my groceries home on the mile-long walk back to my apartment.

And yet, I found myself wanting MORE coffee as the buzz wore off, despite the fact that I neither enjoyed the macchiato nor enjoyed the psychoactive effects.  It reminded me of the couple of times in my life I've tried cocaine (except the cocaine high was more enjoyable), a sort of instantaneous psychological addiction.  Most peculiar!

In any case, I suspect the macchiato is not the right drink for me.  I'm going to try dialing the intensity back a good bit tomorrow.